So, you and your boo are hearing wedding bells and it’s only been six months. You can’t imagine snuggling with anyone else, and you’ve even pinned a few engagement rings to your Pinterest board. Is that creepy?
Well, everyone you know and love will have an opinion on the matter. They’ll think it’s too soon or not soon enough—can’t please ‘em all. And the truth is, there isn’t a magic formula for the right time. Only you can know if you’re ready to take the next step.
Everything in our world and all the norms we subscribe to are always in flux. This is especially true for what’s trending for weddings. The dark ages are over and so are the archaic notions surrounding what is and isn’t acceptable when it comes to holy matrimony. We see a wider range of options available to couples and less limitations. And in this more fluid time, there may not necessarily be a set time to wait; some couples will get engaged after knowing each other for three months, others three or even 10 years. Circumstances sometimes dictate the timeline—financial concerns for example—so the decision is sometimes made sooner or later than expected.
There are some general emotional/practical guidelines that can help you to commit wisely.
Making sure about relationship before wearing engagement ring
At the top of the list is ensuring you know someone as well as you possibly can before taking your relationship to the next level (i.e. marriage and moving in together). Give yourself time to know your partner through the good times and the bad. Arguments in partnerships are part of the journey, but what the argument is over and how the situation is resolved speaks volumes about each person.
All couples go through a lovey-dovey ‘honeymoon’ phase. This lasts anywhere from two days to two years, and this is the time when it feels like your partner can do no wrong. The streets of your love are paved with gold and even snoring seems cute. But sooner or later, every couple enters into the ‘conflict phase’ of their relationship. This is natural and will likely continue the rest of your lives together. The good news is that by focusing on communication, a successful relationship is possible through these challenges. How you repair your conflict is the most important element.
How do millennials think about engagements?
Millennials—those born between 1980-1995—are breaking the mould (or at least trying to) by getting into serious relationships later in life, working harder for longer while they are single, and dating multiple partners until they find a valuable and fulfilling romantic connection.
This may be why shot-gun engagements are less of a thing. Millennials seem to be taking their time when it comes to choosing their life partner. And some aren’t getting married at all!
Relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan believes it’s never too soon: “When it feels right, and a couple knows they don’t want to spend their lives with anyone else that’s when engagement should be on the cards.” Her view is that the whole process comes down to choosing each other and committing.
“When you know, you know. It doesn’t matter the length that you’ve loved, it’s about the depth in which you love. If you have met the person you connect with deeply and can communicate fully with – it’s never too soon.” – Saran Louise Ryan